I remember when I first expressed wanting to be happy as a life goal. I chose those words as my life aspiration for my high school senior yearbook. I had the distinct impression that others thought it was a naive choice. When answering the often-asked question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" with “happy,” I could see the mix of confusion, judgment, and maybe pity cross their faces. I’m not a mind reader, so I don’t know if their actual thoughts matched what I observed, but I internalized their reaction.
Limiting beliefs are sneaking little things that hide in plain sight, like Waldo in the Where’s Waldo images. They can feel like truth or the only possible way to perceive something; yet, they are an illusion that’s best to be recognized, reviewed, and potentially dismantled so that we can feel free.
What makes us compelled to say yes, when our hearts are screaming “No!”? Why are we so happy to find out a plan has been canceled? We’re so often compelled to make a commitment ahead of time, without giving it too much thought. Then, when the dreaded date draws near, we ask ourselves why we ever agreed to it. If we change our mind between making the arrangement and the date of the plan, what stops us from saying that what was a yes has now become a no?
Do you look at the chaos around you and wonder how anyone could bring themselves to trust anymore? Do you tense up when you're encouraged to put your faith in someone, your walls sliding down to keep you safe from unsavory characters? Perhaps you feel a sense of pride in your skepticism of others. Do you consciously relive the times you've been betrayed, to remind you to never let it happen again? Or maybe trust has become an empty concept, like you've said the word so many times it has lost its meaning.
How do I helpfully write about grief? My coach self wants me to share this post in support of others suffering, and my heart just wants my playmate back. Both aspects of me have contributed to this piece, although my coach self doesn't feel qualified to teach anyone anything about grief, and my heart feels that I've just earned a Ph.D. in pain. Does anyone even want to think about grief if they aren't experiencing it? It doesn't sound like an inviting topic if you are safely outside the bounds of the grief pool. Maybe everyone is already flooded, and the thought of reading about someone else's suffering or their take on yours might be unbearable enough to set you over the pool's edge into the space of no return.
These are exciting moments that often bring about change or mark a new chapter. However, they are just moments sprinkled throughout our life, and when we find ourselves caught between moments, what is our focus? Either fear or excitement about the next thing, or a focus on planning for it or adjusting to it? We've all heard the adage: "life is a journey, not a destination." Sometimes I find those adages have been coopted by the well-meaning makers of old wooden signs. So what does that phrase mean to each of us?
First, it's important to differentiate between being creative and being artistic. There's a lot of overlap between the two, but creativity isn't limited to the arts. It breaks my heart when I hear assumptions that if someone can't create the thing deemed beautiful by everyone, they are therefore not creative. "Oh no," they say, "I'm not creative." Sometimes there's an "anymore" added at the end, and if you look closely, you'll see a wistful memory from childhood pass across their face as they return to their imagination, the games they created, or the blanket forts constructed.
Learning how each of us can recover more quickly is always beneficial, but particularly right now in the era of languishing.
Even if you haven't heard this term before, I bet you can glean that a drainer is a to-do list item that sucks the life out of you. Drainers can be anything as they are unique to every individual. And the more drainers you have on your list, the harder it is to get through your list.
Chargers on the other hand, are the activities that inspire, excite, and charge us up like a battery. It’s possible also to use our chargers as a guide to create a better experience for ourselves, either within my current profession or pursuing the most satisfying career.
To me, being a complete leader means we can be fulfilled by our work and our lives when we feel empowered and trust ourselves. When we hide our true selves for the sake of someone else’s definition of leadership, the cost is our natural creativity, passion, satisfaction, and resourcefulness. The qualities most important to a thriving, healthy work environment.
To begin, start with a sketch. Actually, the very beginning starts with inspiration. I’ll see a tree in the moonlight and imagine how it could look made from shards of glass. I'll feel a sense of curiosity and power as I imagine my own enchanted interpretation of this tree. Light filtering through colored glass creates a hypnotic sensory delight.
How do you make decisions?
Are you still relying on a list of pros and cons to clarify your choices? How’s that working?
Since you’re here, I’m guessing it’s not.
Do you make yourself wrong for not working that system well enough? What if you’re not wrong and instead, it's just not the system designed for you to tap into your innate wisdom?
Check out this guide and learn to use your essential wisdom to trust yourself and make decisions with ease!